Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you have to give up all hopes of passion. It's just a matter of making the most of those rare opportunities!

Suddenly all is peaceful, your toddler is glued to the video for the next 20 minutes and the baby is fast asleep. Opportunity knocks! What are you waiting for? It's time to enjoy some sneaky sex, the kind that parents do best!

Life's little passion killers

The first year of parenthood puts all sorts of stresses and strains on a relationship. You have to cope with

What is normal?

"Having a child does lower the quality of your erotic life," is the delicate understatement from Phillip Hodson, writer, broadcaster and fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. "But don't feel bad about it - the rest of the world is not having sex every day. If you are managing a decent bonk about once a month you're doing OK."

Bring back the naughtiness

"You can't expect to book a hotel room and jump on each other," warns Phillip Hodson. "Sex can be incredibly quick, if suitably aroused, women can come in four minutes, men as we know, much less!, but you need to build up the excitement. Start foreplay at breakfast. You have to break out of the mummy and daddy roles and become lovers again. That means lots of adult affection, flirting and a slow build-up of excitement, so that when you get the chance, you're both fully aroused."

Yes, tonight darling!

Try these titillating tips to rev each other up:

• Do a Sharon Stone on him while you're sitting round the tv (takes careful positioning, don't give him a heart attack). Then use every opportunity to remind him of your pantyless state when he can't do anything about it!
  
  
• If that's a bit too chilly for you, then don't underestimate the power of sexy undies on any bloke. Invest in a slinky pair and flash them at him, even if you've got your old trackies on top.
  
  
• Is everyone snoozing in front of the tv? Nip up to the bathroom and lock the door. Sex can be incredibly exciting if you have to be quiet. Try holding hands over each other's mouths as you climax. Or try it blindfold (those in-flight blindfolds come in very handy!)

We did it our way

Now you're mad for each other, but how to sneak off successfully? What other parents get up to...

• "We went out for an evening and pretended we'd just met, I got so turned on by having Tim's full attention that we did it in the back seat of the car before going home!"
  
  
• "My next door neighbour asked us to feed her cats while she was away. The lure of the empty house was too much to resist, and the total thrill of doing it halfway up her stairs like desperate teenagers still turns me on."

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